The Essential Think Pad - Part II

Continued from The Essential Think Pad - Part I

If used with care, your Think Pad can prove to be your best friend. Here are some essential do's and dont's to make the best use of your Think Pad and become a thinker par excellence:
1. I have noticed that a Think Pad will work if and only if you are in there for the actual business of thinking - it won't work if you use your Think Pad while its lid is down and you are dressed in a suit and tie ready to go to your workplace for a business presentation - so do not try to deceive your Think Pad into thinking that you are in there to think - it just doesn't work that way. I sometimes think that The Think Pads these days have developed an artificial intelligence of some sort because i've never been able to deceive my Think Pad, ever.
2. The colder the lid of your Think Pad the better it will be - after initial shivers you'll have warmed the lid up to just the right temperature and by that time you'd be ready to think too. I also don't like the ones with cushy seats - yeah i have seen a few with cushy seats.
3. After you are done Thinking, always turn the exhaust fan ON for the fumes from all the Thinking that you have just accomplished. It'll be even better if you keep the exhaust fan ON while you are thinking - i admit that it'll cause some ambient noise but believe me, once you are on your way to thinking you wouldn't even notice that noise leave alone care. Leave the exhaust fan that serves the area of your Think Pad ON for about half an hour after you are done thinking.
4. If you live in a house with other family members or roommates etc., be prepared to train yourself to either think faster or doing your thinking at odd hours. It is strange that at times everyone in the family feels the urge to think at the same time. If you are able to afford to live at a place which has multiple rooms for installing The Think Pads, nothing like it - this way you can spend more time thinking without being disturbed.
5. Those of you worried about the "insanitary" nature of the ideas that originate while using The Think Pad, please rest easy - you can always wash hands after all the Thinking you've done.

Now some free tips from an avid thinker for wannabe thinkers:
1. To maintain the freshness of your Think Pad's surroundings after you are done thinking, don't use over-the-counter air fresheners, use deodorants instead - this author has found after extensive testing that deodorant sprays work best - author's personal favorite is 'Old Spice's High Endurance Deodorant Spray'. You are ofcourse welcome to test a few before settling for one that you and yours like. The use of deodorant comes in really handy during times when you might need to do some thinking during back to back sessions, or when different people are doing their thinking one after the other. The scent from the deodorants may even help untangle the web of ideas formed from all the thinking that has taken place.
2. Drink a couple of glasses of some liquid, preferably lukewarm water before you commence your thinking. This way you will be able to avoid grappling with your transverse abdominals, internal and external obliques, and rectus abdominus, and concentrate on your thinking instead.

Some suggestions to add some functional bling to your Think Pad:
1. Fold-able laptop desk riveted to the wall facing your Think Pad - especially if you use your Think Pad in a room 6' x 12' or smaller. Otherwise feel free to lug a small 3 or 4 legged side-table into the Think Pad Room to place your laptop etc.
2. For those who do not like to use their laptops while they think, a notepad and a pen (not a pencil because you might need to sharpen it at times and that will require more paraphernalia and more space to stow it somewhere) are essential. By the way, bath tub's ledge comes in really handy in such scenarios.
3. A small and easily reachable towel - to wipe the tears that develop during times of extreme thinking.
4. If planning to use cordless phone or cell phone while sitting on your Think Pad make sure you get the walls of your Think Pad's location acoustically neutralized, otherwise you'll run the risk of your end of conversation echoing while you are thinking and talking simultaneously.

During one such thinking session it occurred to me that the reason people who live in parts of the world that are not "West" don't make good innovators and entrepreneurs is very simple - they just don't use the sort of Think Pads that westerners use! Makes sense isn't it - they have to use The Think Pads that require squatting instead of sitting. After a few minutes of that the legs will start to hurt and one will have to get up and leave - they just can't spend too much time thinking in that particular position. Almost all of the physical energy and mental attention must go into trying to relieve the pain in the knees, hamstrings and gastrocnemius muscle groups. This means not many ideas germinate in such a short span of time, and those that do, do not get to evolve for lack of time to think. Furthermore, most cuisines outside of western countries tend to be spicier, so the thinking that follows is usually mentally as well as physically draining. If you don't agree with me all i need to do is point you to http://goldsea.com/Personalities/Inspiring/inspiring.html. Here you can find the names of 100 of many thousands that hail from non-western countries, either on their own or were born to parents, who moved to the west and made a name for themselves - and all of it just because they got to use The Think Pad in the right way, the western way. You will find that i was quite correct in claiming that "People in the west already benefit from doing some thinking this way".

Now an essential Disclaimer:
1. Even though this document is just of an informerceative (adjectival of the word infomercial?) nature, the author of this document would like to make it clear that at no point in the writing of this essay did he use IBM's Think Pad while writing about his experiences and ideas from having used his own Think Pad.
2. 'The Think Pad' eluded to in this essay does not have anything to do with IBM's Think Pad line of laptops either - The Think Pad serves a greater need and is in no way or form meant to encroach on IBM's business.
3. IBM is free to use this 'The Think Pad' in its own marketing collateral and advertising as it pleases, as long as it has a 5 pixel x 5 pixel icon of the image of an actual Think Pad on every machine that they sell, and the icon should be placed right next to the Intel Inside logo.
4. Commercial as well as private users are welcome to use IBM's Think Pad while they are sitting on 'The Think Pad' - no loyalties of any kind are sought.
5. Disclaimer points 1 thru 3 above hold true for other manufacturers as well as sellers of laptops, netbooks, iPads, and all other hand-held electronic devices that can be used while one is using The Think Pad. By the way, as cool as iPad is, using an iPad while using your Think Pad just doesn't cut it - typing on the screen is difficult as the iPad has to be kept in ones lap which soon becomes unwieldy, and typing with one hand is plain annoying. May be folks at Apple should come up with a tripod specifically designed for use in tandem with The Think Pad. Steve Jobs will probably need to get healthy and come back from retirement, again, to motivate the company to do that artistically and masterfully so the quality of the arrangement is preserved and upholds Apple's high standards. Apple will have to do this soon too, for their competitors, the likes of Microsoft, Sony, Dell, Panasonic, and many others are just itching to get some sort of head start on some idea over Apple - may be this will be it.
6. The manufacturers of the companies willing to produce and sell ancillary equipment that helps add some kind of novel functional bling to the surroundings of The Think Pad should feel free to certify their wares with a logo of The Think Pad, as mentioned in Disclaimer point 3 above.
6. The innovators and entrepreneurs who come up with applications and uses other than the ones mentioned in this essay above can do so without any fear of restitution but, it will behoove them to share their ideas for applications of The Think Pad with the rest of the world so all mankind can benefit from them, after all we are human because we have the ability to think.
7. The publishers and makers of instructional posters and manuals may feel free to print and sell their posters and other paraphernalia to be hung outside or inside the doors or the walls of The Think Pad room - all that is expected of them is that they credit this author by carrying a logo as is described in Disclaimer point 3 above, and the phraseology 'My Think Pad.docx' underneath the logo.

PS: Readers may feel free, at their own peril of course, to use the first one of 'George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words', selectively, in place of the word 'Think' where ever it appears in this essay and read it all over again.

Ok, i need to get back to my thinking now, and so should you. Happy thinking.

The Essential Think Pad - Part I

There is this one pad in my house that I call 'The Think Pad'. If you spend time using your Think Pad the way I use mine, I promise that you'll soon reach a stage where you will have a bright idea almost every thinking session. May be even two or more a day, especially if you are fortunate enough to have a plumbing that is compromised.

I am amazed at the number and quality of ideas that I have had while using my Think Pad. In fact, the light bulb with the idea for this particular essay written all over it turned ON while I was using my Think Pad. As to why the use of The Think Pad leads to creative and critical thinking, I am not yet certain. May be it is the thinkers' pose that one has to assume while performing the business of thinking while in the Think Pad Room - elbows firmly planted on the knees and the head resting on the palms of both your hands with fingers curled up into your cheeks, or may be its just the ambiance of the Think Pad Room, the odors, and the occasional sounds that all the thinking that you do makes.

Yes, my Think Pad has a room of its own, and I am fairly certain that yours does too. The days when we used to do all the thinking in the open are long gone. Well, actually ... let me take that back. (Unfortunately?), there are a few many amongst us who still have to do all their thinking in the open. It isn't considered very lady-like/gentlemanly to do ones thinking in the open. Now that I really think about it, thinking in the wild, in the open that is, may not have been that bad an idea. The cool fresh breeze at dawn and the chirping of the birds heading out from their nests must have made thinking quite an experience. But then, during good ol days there were no Think Pads available. Not even to the royalty of the day I reckon! So all the thinking must have had to be done while ... ... while squatting. How would squatting impact the quality of thinking? Hmmm ... something else to think about when I am sitting on my Think Pad next.

Oh ... that was a good save. Just an improperly placed 'h' in sitting would have mixed it up with thinking. Now wouldn't it? Phew!

Having had some experience using my Think Pad for a while now Ithought I'll make a case for the larger utility of Think Pads, give out some advice and suggestions for The Think Pads' optimal and best possible use, and discuss some cool and very effective applications of The Think Pads.

Some of the immediate applications of The Think Pad have to be the ones that require a lot of thinking, for example:

1. The speaker of the house in a country's parliament should sit on a Think Pad, and so should its legislators. They will be able to think fast and smart, and the issues that need addressing will be addressed duly, not in the least because The Think Pads are hard to pick and hurl at each other. Legislators from both right as well as left can chose to sit on adjacent Think Pads, especially during the very special events such as The State of The Union. A legislator from the right should actually share their think pad with their counterpart from the left - this shall enhance the bipartisanship like never before.

2. The Presidents and Prime ministers should have Think Pads installed in their offices - just imagine, if President Obama had a Think Pad in Oval Office, he would have been able to solve so many problems for 'US' as well as for rest of the world. If he pays heed to this suggestion now, he wouldn't even need to run for a second term leave alone campaign for it again for all the thinking he was able to accomplish in his first. Had his predecessors used The Think Pads, he wouldn't need be in office right now, but then that would have denied us the historic moment of a non-white person becoming The President of our great nation, isn't it? By the way, the same goes for the current crop of governors and legislators too - they would have saved us so much botheration, only if they had been smart to use their Think Pads.

3. If we are really serious about solving some of the greatest problems that we face today (for a prioritized list of issues that mankind faces today, watch this video here ), the heads of international organizations should use Think Pads to sit on during the meetings, and so should the representatives of the member nations - lets start with the UN Security Council as a test case for testing the feasibility of using Think Pads, but, we must then immediately move to applying those findings to The UN Climate Summit and on to the annual feature at Davos that The World Economic Forum is.

4. The appointees to the erstwhile Supreme Court need to do a lot of thinking, so they certainly could use The Think Pads. Not only will the decisions be more thoughtful and more relevant to current times, they will feel better in their stomachs, hearts and minds after they've rendered a judgment upon thinking straight, thinking issue through without leaning towards one side (of the Think Pad that is) or the other.

5. The leaders of various religions - ancient or modern, idol worshipers or not, must take a cue and start using The Think Pads in their respective places of worship. And so should their devoted congregations. I promise you, the gods will come to tears in less time than it takes to say Amen and they will certainly have to pay attention to the plight of their followers on earth. The atheists will have to take heart from the fact that the likes of Charles Darwin, Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris probably did most of their thinking while sitting (phew) on their very own Think Pads. Here you can watch a very intellectually stimulating conversation between four of the most prominent proponents of atheism today - I wish they were sitting on Think Pads during this conversation. It would have been brilliant yet.

I was going to say that students who are preparing for their exams can benefit from using their Think Pad too. But, the more I think about it the less certain I am of that, probably because the mental and emotional demands of the exams of academic nature tend to effect our physiological systems such that the whole business of thinking, and that which leads us to it, is affected. So, during exam days a student's gastrointestinal system will likely be compromised in the exact opposite way to the one mentioned earlier in this essay.

Now, as true (or false?!) as matter and anti-matter are, there are places that will not be served well by the suggested use of The Think Pad. The bus stops, the train stations, the airports and all other public locations of such nature cannot afford to let people use Think Pads for thinking all the time. Primarily because people will start lining up to use The Think Pads as most transit hubs do not charge extra buck for such a service. Not only that, during times of restricted transit the situation at public transit systems is bound to worsen e.g. during the natural (volcanoes spewing ash, crippling snow/ice storms) or man-made (planes flying into buildings, airports being callous about operations management and logistics) problems - during such times when we want every individual to be at their thinking best so that the problems can be tackled well and with urgency, everyone will end up queuing outside the 'The Think Pad' Rooms at these locations because of the rush and the anxiety of the whole situation. Thus, it is advisable that the contractors and operators of such facilities (facilities that must allow free of charge use of Think Pads) and governments in-charge figure out ways of avoiding that from happening.

To be continued - Part II to follow, soon ... - Click to go to Part II.