Oh god ... the small things!

I was chuffed to bits!

Had just reinforced the front buttons on a jacket and an overcoat - all on my own. Was going to the windy city after all - for a week, and a few buttons were coming loose. Had held a needle in hand after ... god knows how long. No needle pricks - not a single one. No tangled thread in other buttons. Unreeled about exactly as much thread that I ended up needing. My mother and both my grandmothers would be proud of me I thought.

The packing was a bit last minute. But, having thought through the night before what I needed to pack along and what I didn't, made it about as easy as last minute packing for a week long trip to Chicago for the first week of December can get.

Shirts smartly folded. Underwear nicely rolled up and tucked away. Sweatshirt - check. Sweater - check. Socks - check. Handkerchiefs - check. Jacket - got it - with freshly sewn buttons. Overcoat - ditto.

A pair of flip flops - in the back pocket of the bag. Toiletries - in the front one.

Passport, visa - in the carry bag. Documents - front pocket. Books - one for the way there, another for the way back - check, and check. Laptop, power cord and charger - packed. Cell phone charger - got it. Chewing gum and breath mints - of course. Jeans - on. Wallet, watch, belt, a handkerchief - on again. Socks and shoes - on the feet. Phone - in pocket.

Gotham city, here I come.

I step out of the door. Backpack on my back. The other bag in my right hand. And but of course, a nagging thought occurs - did I forget something. Naah ... I didn't. Everything went smoothly today morning. Starting with the needle work! Mann I was good, wasn't I?! How could I forget anything ... today of all days.

I put the bags on the back seat of the car. Slam the door. Get in the front. Turn the key. Ramp up the heater. Turn my playlist on. Take a sip of water from the water bottle. Spill some on my right leg. 

And right then it occurs to me ... damn ... did I pack any other pants for the trip? F*** me!

It took a village ...

It took a village to make Sachin Tendulkar into the Sachin Tendulkar that we love so much. And what a village it was.

Watching Sachin thank everyone, from his immediate family to his coaches and friends, his agents and managers to the sport's governing bodies, and his comrades in cricketing kit, made me wonder: what if every kid got such a support to do what he or she loved to do.

Curiously, I also couldn't help but wonder, what if his mother or his father or someone else in his immediate family had asked him, "Sachin, it is all well and good to be good at cricket. But, what do you plan to do to make a living?" Were those sorts of questions never asked of him? There can be only two answers to that question.

One - no, such questions were never asked. In which case, people around Sachin were cognizant enough to have recognized that they should let this kid with curly hair and a panache for holding the cricket bat do what he loved to do - play cricket. That they will not take this joy away from him, irrespective of whether he is able to eke out a living doing this or not.

Two - yes, such questions were asked. In which case, people around Sachin ensured that they would do everything within their power to let this kid with curly hair and a panache for holding the cricket bat do what he loved to do - play cricket. That they will do everything they can to make sure he becomes the best at what he loves to do.

In either case, the village that raised Sachin, so he could become the cricketer that he would, so he could become the man that he would, was one hell of a village. R E S P E C T.

A tale of two sons of India

Noticed Rahul Gandhi watching Sachin Tendulkar in his last international cricket match at Wankhede Stadium at Mumbai. Couldn't help but think of the contrasts. Two sons of India. Two diametrically opposite claims to fame.

One born with the silver spoon. The other born with iron will.

One who got it all. The other who gave it his all.

One who parachuted down. The other who rocketed up.

One who was thrust on them. The other who they embraced.

One abhorred by most. The other adored by most.

One considered confused. The other hailed as pioneer.

One put down by his peers. The other revered by his peers. 

One who says nothing when he speaks. The other who speaks volumes when he says nothing.

One who has been a slave of his own good fortune. The other who has been a master of his own destiny.

Cricket Australia To Outsource Batting To India

   After a performance in Ashes that some in Australian media have lamented as 'stinky as little kangaroo's poo in mama kangaroo's pouch', Cricket Australia has decided to outsource top six batting positions in the team to India. The Indian board, BCCI, negotiated the deal such that they will be getting three fast bowlers, two twelfth men who are good at sledging and a hermaphrodite koala.

   However, England's Cricket Board has filed a strongly worded complaint with ICC against CA and BCCI's deal. They had offered to clone Ian Bell and lend those to Australia, but CA decided against it. CA's analysis suggests that if Ian Bell (slow)fires, like he usually does, the match will definitely be a draw and if he doesn't then they will end up losing the game - so it was considered a lose-lose situation. England had also offered CA the services of (full)Monty Panesar to water the outback. CA had declined that offer too.

   The English Board also believes that BCCI's currently-former-but-soon-to-be-current boss N Srinivasan strong armed CA into taking all outsourced players from Chennai. Both BCCI and CA have denied this. India Captain M S Dhoni has refused to comment on account of bad back.

   Australia have lost three of the four Ashes test matches they have played in England. For the fifth and final test match CA has requested ICC to let them use the batsmen that they are procuring from India. ECB has challenged that on the grounds that BCCI has low balled the offer way too much by accepting just one hermaphrodite koala instead of the two that they had originally asked for.

Disclaimer: This post was put together for First Post's 'Faking News' portal.

NSA, Up Yours

Listening, reading, watching this news about the information that Edward Snowden leaked about NSA's world-wide surveillance program, I couldn't help but think to myself: What if, everyone in the world decided to include in their electronic communication some bit that is almost bound to pop up on NSA's radar PRISM? What then?

In other words:
1. What if in every phone call people make or receive, they ended the conversation with: "While you are at it, F*** the NSA"?
2. What if every text message sent using cell phones included: "NSA, YCKMHBA" meaning, NSA, You Can Kiss My Hairy Brown Ass?
3. What if every email sent out from now on gave the NSA the finger, like so:
...................../´¯/) 
..................,/¯..// 
....NSA......./..../ / 
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`•¸ 
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ 
........('(...´(..´......,~/'...') 
.........\.................\/..../ 
..........''...\.......... _.•´ 
............\..............( 
..............\.............\
4. What if every facebook post or tweet or whatever, ended in "NSA, GFY" meaning, NSA, Go F*** Yourself.
5. What if in every video chat, those video chatting, decided to moon the NSA by showing their butts in the webcams all the while swearing at them.

There will be so many flags popping up on NSA's screens they would not know what hit them. How will they go about telling the "good" from the "bad" then? I wonder.

And everyone will be happy, NSA 'cos their system is working well, and the people 'cos they get to tell the NSA like they've secretly always wanted to.

I know, I know. This blog post is definitely gonna be flagged by PRISM ... I am using Google's Blogger after all. :-| But I am sure people at NSA are good hearted ... and kind ... and smart people. Aren't they? They will definitely understand this is all tongue in cheek and in good humor. Won't you, you  motherf*****g sons of b*****s?

Errr, oops ... I am just kidding NSA, I am just kidding. Honest. Remember, still strictly tongue in cheek. All in good humor. Ju.....st kidding. Take it easy. I am on your side. Keep up the good work. We need you. We feel safe with you watching everything we do. You don't ever need to feel bad about snooping into our private lives. We totally understand you need to do this. This is for our well being. What would the world come to if it were not for you? You are the saviors. God is jealous of you. He wishes he had this good a system.

Phew! That was close.